Hard-Luck Diggings: The Early Jack Vance, Volume One Read online

  From The Trog Story, a daily syndicated feature by Harlan B. Temple, April 31:

  “Today I saw the hundred thousandth trog push his way up out of the bowels of the Alps; everywhere in the world people are asking, where will it stop? I certainly have no answer. This tremendous migration, unparalleled since the days of Alaric the Goth, seems only just now shifting into high gear. Two new rifts have opened into the Kreuzberg; the trogs come shoving out in close ranks, faces blank as custard, and only God knows what is in their minds.

  “The camps—there are now six, interconnected like knots on a rope—extend down the hillside and into the Kreuzertal. Tarpaulins over the treetops give the mountainside, seen from a distance, the look of a lawn with handkerchiefs spread out to dry.

  “The food situation has improved considerably over the past three days, thanks to the efforts of the Red Cross, CARE, and FAO. The basic ration is a mush of rice, wheat, millet or other cereal, mixed with carrots, greens, dried eggs, and reinforced with vitamins; the trogs appear to thrive on it.

  “I cannot say that the trogs are a noble, enlightened, or even ingratiating race. Their cultural level is abysmally low; they possess no tools, they wear neither clothing nor ornaments. To their credit it must be said that they are utterly inoffensive and mild; I have never witnessed a quarrel or indeed seen a trog exhibit anything but passive obedience.

  “Still they rise in the hundreds and thousands. What brings them forth? Do they flee a subterranean Attila, some pandemonic Stalin? The linguists who have been studying the trog speech are close-mouthed, but I have it from a highly informed source that a report will be published within the next day or so…”

  Report to the Assembly of the U.N., May 4, by V.G. Hendlemann, Coordinator for the Committee of Associated Anthropologists:

  “I will state the tentative conclusions to which this committee has arrived. The processes and inductions which have led to these conclusions are outlined in the appendix to this report.

  “Our preliminary survey of the troglodyte language has convinced a majority of us that the trogs are probably the descendants of a group of European cave-dwellers who either by choice or by necessity took up underground residence at least fifty thousand, at most two hundred thousand, years ago.

  “The trog which we see today is a result of evolution and mutation, and represents adaptation to the special conditions under which the trogs have existed. He is quite definitely of the species homo sapiens, with a cranial capacity roughly identical to that of surface man.

  “In our conversations with the trogs we have endeavored to ascertain the cause of the migration. Not one of the trogs makes himself completely clear on the subject, but we have been given to understand that the great caves which the race inhabited have been stricken by a volcanic convulsion and are being gradually filled with lava. If this be the case the trogs are seen to become literally ‘displaced persons’.

  “In their former home the trogs subsisted on fungus grown in shallow ‘paddies’, fertilized by their own wastes, finely pulverized coal, and warmed by volcanic heat.

  “They have no grasp of ‘time’ as we understand the word. They have only the sparsest traditions of the past and are unable to conceive of a future further removed than two minutes. Since they exist in the present, they neither expect, hope, dread, nor otherwise take cognizance of what possibly may befall them.

  “In spite of their deficiencies of cultural background, the trogs appear to have a not discreditable native intelligence. The committee agrees that a troglodyte child reared in ordinary surface surroundings, and given a typical education, might well become a valuable citizen, indistinguishable from any other human being except by his appearance.”

  Excerpt from a speech by Porfirio Hernandez, Mexican delegate to the U.N. Assembly, on May 17:

  “…We have ignored this matter too long. Far from being a scientific curiosity or a freak, this is a very human problem, one of the biggest problems of our day and we must handle it as such. The trogs are pressing from the ground at an ever-increasing rate; the Kreuzertal, or Kreuzer Valley, is inundated with trogs as if by a flood. We have heard reports, we have deliberated, we have made solemn noises, but the fact remains that every one of us is sitting on his hands. These people—we must call them people—must be settled somewhere permanently; they must be made self-supporting. This hot iron must be grasped; we fail in our responsibilities otherwise…”

  Excerpt from a speech, May 19, by Sir Lyandras Chandryasam, delegate from India:

  “…My esteemed colleague from Mexico has used brave words; he exhibits a humanitarianism that is unquestionably praiseworthy. But he puts forward no positive program. May I ask how many trogs have come to the surface, thus to be cared for? Is not the latest figure somewhere short of a million? I would like to point out that in India alone five million people yearly die of malnutrition or preventable disease; but no one jumps up here in the assembly to cry for a crusade to help these unfortunate victims of nature. No, it is this strange race, with no claim upon anyone, which has contributed nothing to the civilization of the world, which now we feel has first call upon our hearts and purse-strings. I say, is not this a paradoxical circumstance…”

  From a speech, May 20, by Dr. Karl Byrnisted, delegate from Iceland:

  “…Sir Lyandras Chandryasam’s emotion is understandable, but I would like to remind him that the streets of India swarm with millions upon millions of so-called sacred cattle and apes, who eat what and where they wish, very possibly the food to keep five million persons alive. The recurrent famines in India could be relieved, I believe, by a rationalistic dealing with these parasites, and by steps to make the new birth-control clinics popular, such as a tax on babies. In this way, the Indian government, by vigorous methods, has it within its power to cope with its terrible problem. These trogs, on the other hand, are completely unable to help themselves; they are like babies flung fresh into a world where even the genial sunlight kills them…”

  From a speech, May 21, by Porfirio Hernandez, delegate from Mexico:

  “I have been challenged to propose a positive program for dealing with the trogs…I feel that as an activating principle, each member of the U.N. agree to accept a number of trogs proportionate to its national wealth, resources, and density of population…Obviously the exact percentages will have to be thrashed out elsewhere…I hereby move the President of the Assembly appoint such a committee, and instruct them to prepare such a recommendation, said committee to report within two weeks.”

  (Motion defeated, 20 to 35)

  The Trog Story, June 2, by Harlan B. Temple:

  “No matter how many times I walk through Trog Valley, the former Kreuzertal, I never escape a feeling of the profoundest bewilderment and awe. The trogs number now well over a million; yesterday they chiseled open four new openings into the outside world, and they are pouring out at the rate of thousands every hour. And everywhere is heard the question, where will it stop? Suppose the earth is a honeycomb, a hive, with more trogs than surface men?

  “Sooner or later our organization will break down; more trogs will come up than it is within our power to feed. Organization already has failed to some extent. All the trogs are getting at least one meal a day, but not enough clothes, not enough shelter is being provided. Every day hundreds die from sunburn. I understand that the Old-Clothes-for-Trogs drive has nowhere hit its quota; I find it hard to comprehend. Is there no feeling of concern or sympathy for these people merely because they do not look like so many chorus boys and screen starlets?”

  From the Christian Science Monitor:

  CONTROVERSIAL TROG BILL

  PASSES U.N. ASSEMBLY

  New York, June 4: By a 35 to 20 vote—exactly reversing its first tally on the measure—the U.N. Assembly yesterday accepted the motion of Mexico’s Hernandez to set up a committee for the purpose of recommending a percentage-wise distribution of trogs among member states.

  Tabulation of voting on the measure found th
e Soviet bloc lined up with the United States and the British Commonwealth in opposition to the measure—presumably the countries which would be awarded large numbers of the trogs .

  Handbill passed out at rally of the Socialist Reich (Neo-Nazi) party at Bremen, West Germany, June 10:

  A NEW THREAT

  COMRADES! It took a war to clean Germany of the Jews; must we now submit to an invasion of troglodyte filth? All Germany cries no! All Germany cries, hold our borders firm against these cretin moles! Send them to Russia; send them to the Arctic wastes! Let them return to their burrows; let them perish! But guard the Fatherland; guard the sacred German Soil!

  (Rally broken up by police, handbills seized.)

  Letter to the London Times, June 18:

  To the Editor:

  I speak for a large number of my acquaintances when I say that the prospect of taking to ourselves a large colony of ‘troglodytes’ awakens in me no feeling of enthusiasm. Surely England has troubles more than enough of its own, without the added imposition of an unassimilable and non-productive minority to eat our already meager rations and raise our already sky-high taxes.

  Yours, etc.,

  Sir Clayman Winifred, Bart.

  Lower Ditchley, Hants.

  Letter to the London Times, June 21:

  To the Editor:

  Noting Sir Clayman Winifred’s letter of June 18, I took a quick check-up of my friends and was dumbfounded to find how closely they hew to Sir Clayman’s line. Surely this isn’t our tradition, not to get under the load and help lift with everything we’ve got? The troglodytes are human beings, victims of a disaster we have no means of appreciating. They must be cared for, and if a qualified committee of experts sets us a quota, I say, let’s bite the bullet and do our part.

  The Ameriphobe section of our press takes great delight in baiting our cousins across the sea for the alleged denial of civil rights to the Negroes—which, may I add, is present in its most violent and virulent form in a country of the British Commonwealth: the Union of South Africa. What do these journalists say to evidences of the same unworthy emotion here in England?

  Yours, etc.,

  J.C.T. Harrodsmere

  Tisley-on-Thames, Sussex.

  Headline in the New York Herald Tribune, June 22:

  FOUR NEW TROG CAMPS OPENED;

  POPULATION AT TWO MILLION

  Letter to the London Times, June 24:

  To the Editor:

  I read the letter of J.C.T. Harrodsmere in connection with the trog controversy with great interest. I think that in his praiseworthy efforts to have England do its bit, he is overlooking a very important fact: namely, we of England are a close-knit people, of clear clean vigorous blood, and admixture of any nature could only be for the worse. I know Mr. Harrodsmere will be quick to say, no admixture is intended. But mistakes occur, and as I understand a man-trog union to be theoretically fertile, in due course there would be a number of little half-breeds scampering like rats around our gutters, a bad show all around. There are countries where this type of mongrelization is accepted: the United States, for instance, boasts that it is the ‘melting pot’. Why not send the trogs to the wide open spaces of the U.S. where there is room and to spare, and where they can ‘melt’ to their heart’s content?

  Yours, etc.,

  Col. G.P. Barstaple (Ret. ), Queens Own Hussars.

  Mide Hill, Warwickshire.

  Letter to the London Times, June 28:

  To the Editor:

  Contrasting the bank accounts, the general air of aliveness of mongrel U.S.A. and non-mongrel England, I say maybe it might do us good to trade off a few retired colonels for a few trogs extra to our quota. Here’s to more and better mongrelization!

  Yours, etc.,

  (Miss) Elizabeth Darrow Brown

  London, S.W.

  The Trog Story, June 30, by Harlan B. Temple:

  “Will it come as a surprise to my readers if I say the trog situation is getting out of hand? They are coming not slower but faster; every day we have more trogs and every day we have more at a greater rate than the day before. If the sentence sounds confused it only reflects my state of mind .

  “Something has got to be done.

  “Nothing is being done.

  “The wrangling that is going on is a matter of public record. Each country is liberal with advice but with little else. Sweden says, send them to the center of Australia; Australia points to Greenland; Denmark would prefer the Ethiopian uplands; Ethiopia politely indicates Mexico; Mexico says, much more room in Arizona; and in Washington senators from below the Mason-Dixon Line threaten to filibuster from now till Kingdom Come rather than admit a single trog to the continental limits of the U.S. Thank the Lord for an efficient food administration! The U.N. and the world at large can be proud of the organization by which the trogs are being fed.

  “Incidental Notes: trog babies are being born—over fifty yesterday.”

  From the San Francisco Chronicle:

  REDS OFFER HAVEN TO TROGS

  PROPOSAL STIRS WORLD

  New York, July 3: Ivan Pudestov, the USSR’s chief delegate to the U.N. Assembly, today blew the trog question wide open with a proposal to take complete responsibility for the trogs.

  The offer startled the U.N. and took the world completely by surprise, since heretofore the Soviet delegation has held itself aloof from the bitter trog controversy, apparently in hopes that the free world would split itself apart on the problem…

  Editorial in the Milwaukee Journal, July 5, headed “A Question of Integrity”:

  At first blush the Russian offer to take the trogs appears to ease our shoulders of a great weight. Here is exactly what we have been grasping for, a solution without sacrifice, a sop to our consciences, a convenient carpet to sweep our dirt under. The man in the street, and the responsible official, suddenly are telling each other that perhaps the Russians aren’t so bad after all, that there’s a great deal of room in Siberia, that the Russians and the trogs are both barbarians and really not so much different, that the trogs were probably Russians to begin with, etc.

  Let’s break the bubble of illusion, once and for all. We can’t go on forever holding our Christian integrity in one hand and our inclinations in the other…Doesn’t it seem an odd coincidence that while the Russians are desperately short of uranium miners at the murderous East German and Ural pits, the trogs, accustomed to life underground, might be expected to make a good labor force?…In effect, we would be turning over to Russia millions of slaves to be worked to death. We have rejected forced repatriation in West Europe and Korea, let’s reject forced patriation and enslavement of the trogs.

  Headline in the New York Times, July 20:

  REDS BAN U.N. SUPERVISION OF TROG COMMUNITIES

  SOVEREIGNTY ENDANGERED, SAYS PUDESTOV

  ANGRILY WITHDRAWS TROG OFFER

  Headline in the New York Daily News, July 26:

  BELGIUM OFFERS CONGO FOR TROG HABITATION

  ASKS FUNDS TO RECLAIM JUNGLE

  U.N. GIVES QUALIFIED NOD

  From The Trog Story, July 28, by Harlan B. Temple:

  “Four million (give or take a hundred thousand) trogs now breathe surface air. The Kreuzertal camps now constitute one of the world’s largest cities, ranking under New York, London, Tokyo. The formerly peaceful Tyrolean valley is now a vast array of tarpaulins, circus tents, Quonset huts, water tanks, and general disorder. Trog City doesn’t smell too good either.

  “Today might well mark the high tide in what the Austrians are calling ‘the invasion from hell’. Trogs still push through a dozen gaps ten abreast, but the pressure doesn’t seem so intense. Every once in a while a space appears in the ranks, where formerly they came packed like asparagus in crates. Another difference: the first trogs were meaty and fairly well nourished. These late arrivals are thin and ravenous. Whatever strange subterranean economy they practiced, it seems to have broken down completely…”

  From The Trog Story, August 1, by Harlan
B. Temple:

  “Something horrible is going on under the surface of the earth. Trogs are staggering forth with raw stumps for arms, with great wounds…”

  From The Trog Story, August 8, by Harlan B. Temple:

  “Operation Exodus got underway today. One thousand trogs departed the Kreuzertal bound for their new home near Cabinda, at the mouth of the Congo River. Trucks and buses took them to Innsbruck, where they will board special trains to Venice and Trieste. Here ships supplied by the U.S. Maritime Commission will take them to their new home.

  “As one thousand trogs departed Trog City, twenty thousand pushed up from their underground homeland, and camp officials are privately expressing concern over conditions. Trog City has expanded double, triple, ten times over the original estimates. The machinery of supply, sanitation and housing is breaking down. From now on, any attempts to remedy the situation are at best stopgaps, like adhesive tape on a rotten hose, when what is needed is a new hose or, rather, a four-inch pipe.

  “Even to maintain equilibrium, thirty thousand trogs per day will have to be siphoned out of the Kreuzertal camps, an obvious impossibility under present budgets and efforts…”

  From Newsweek, August 14:

  Camp Hope, in the bush near Cabinda, last week took on the semblance of the Guadalcanal army base during World War II. There was the old familiar sense of massive confusion, the grind of bulldozers, sweating white, beet-red, brown and black skins, the raw earth dumped against primeval vegetation, bugs, salt tablets, Atabrine…